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Engagement

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

Will you marry me? - Those who want to pop the question to their partner first also have many questions.
To answer them, we have put together 12 facts about proposing and getting engaged.

What does engagement mean?

The mutual promise of two people to marry is called an engagement. With this a couple makes public their intention to enter into marriage. It matters little whether the two are of the same sex or not.
The proposal ritual has existed for several hundred years, so it is an ancient tradition. Previously, it was customary for the future groom to agree on the conditions of marriage with the bride's father.
If the two were in agreement, in ancient Germany (up to 300 AD), the groom would give the bride's father a kind of advance payment. This gesture counted as an official betrothal.
Later, the roles were reversed and, from then on, the bride and her family gave the dowry.
Today, at least in the Western world, an engagement or marriage proposal is a romantic and emotional event.
The exchange of goods has disappeared in favour of an engagement ring. But the meaning of the mutual promise has remained the same.

The engagement is the official publication of the will to marry.
With the acceptance of the marriage proposal, the couple shows their intention to enter into marriage.
The engagement is therefore, no more and no less, the made public descision to marry. On the wedding day, this wish will be fulfilled.
The wedding celebration takes place, in most cases (80 %), after one year of engagement.
The marriage proposal is the starting signal for the couple and their respective families for the preparations of the celebration.

When are you engaged? Facts 3, 4 and 5

What conditions must exist for a marriage proposal, when a couple is considered engaged and how much time elapses between the proposal and marriage.
We explain.

It is possible to end the engagement in two different ways. In most cases the man makes a small speech to his beloved.
Afterwards he asks the most beautiful question in life: will you marry me? If the other person says yes! the engagement is considered concluded.
In short: the engagement acquires value from the moment the proposal is accepted by the partner.
If no one makes the proposal, the couple is automatically considered engaged after the publication of the marriage in the bureau of publications.
This publication is called an offer.

Private engagement does not require any form but only the acceptance of both partners.
Otherwise, there are no other legal conditions that must be given in order to become engaged.
E.g. one does not have to be of legal age to become engaged.
Parental consent is also no condition for the validity of the marriage proposal.
The custom whereby the groom-to-be asks the future in-laws for a blessing is still widespread.
This is in fact intended as a sign of respect for the bride's parents.

The engagement ends on the day of the wedding.
There is no prescription as to how much time should elapse between the proposal and the wedding.
Some couples get married after years, others after a few months or a few weeks.
Many factors influence the length of the engagement, especially the personal point of view and the location and organisation of the celebration.
It used to be normal to get married after 12 months of engagement.
Although still today most couples (80%) get married after a year, people wait on average six weeks longer before going down the aisle than in the 1960s.

Who is responsible for the proposal and what needs to be considered?

Traditionally, the man proposes to the woman. This is still the rule today. However, according to the principle "woman is equal!" more and more women are taking the first step towards marriage.

We are happy for both strong women and determined men even in a same-gender relationship. When two men or two women get engaged, the faster or more dominant will be the one to propose.

The engagement, according to the Civil Code, does not entail any obligation to marry. It is therefore a purely moral agreement.
This means that either of the two betrothed may break the promise.
If the engagement is broken, the breaking party must give the other party damages of interest, e.g. reimbursement of expenses for the wedding party.
Good to know: from the moment a couple is engaged before the court, the two count as relatives. Therefore, the two do not have to testify against the other.

No - in order to marry, no official proposal must take place.
After the couple's registration for marriage at the civil registrar's office, i.e. the publications, the couple is considered engaged.
The engagement is thus a kind of precondition for marriage.

No, it is much more than that! It is a famous tradition, important for many couples, to give an engagement ring as a proposal.
The latter is a sign of an affirmative response to the proposal.
In Italy, engaged couples wear their engagement ring on the ring finger of their left hand.
The rontoda shape of the ring is synonymous with eternal love, consecrated with marriage.
More and more couples are choosing an engagement ring.
Until the 1960s, it was customary to get engaged without a ring. Nevertheless, today most couples see the engagement ring as the symbol of a successful proposal!
 

Engagement and marriage proposal

The notions engagement and marriage proposal have the same meaning. They decry the promise to contract marriage. There is no difference between the two terms.
One often hears incorrect notions such as 'engagement proposal'. If one looks for this notion, one looks in vain.

Who should know about the engagement?

An official publication of the marriage proposal is not necessarily planned. However, most couples announce this happy event with friends and family.

The news is often communicated by the bride and groom to family and close friends. Many couples decide to send letters with photos to announce the news. If the wedding date is already known, the news can be conveyed with the invitation.

Couples love 'save-the-date' letters. These are nothing more than a provisional invitation to the wedding that also announce the engagement.

Nowadays no longer fashionable, but it is still a good custom to publish the engagement announcement in the local newspaper. This custom is typical of small villages.

In the past, it was common to celebrate the marriage proposal officially together with the bride and groom's family. Following the same principle as the wedding, the bride's parents organise the engagement party.

In Italy, engagement parties almost never take place.

Whether a couple decides to organise a party or not depends on the cultural context. In countries such as India or Turkey, the party after the marriage proposal is the constituent element of the wedding preparations. The highlight of this event is the exchange of the engagement rings. The Turkish man also receives one.
 

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